Boy and the Apple Tree

The Story of Four Wives

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Moral :

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

A. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

B. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

C. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

D. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament

FW: 40 Tips for Better Life

40 Tips for Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Sleep for at least 7 hours.

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Play more games.

6. Read more books than you did last year.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink plenty of water.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his / her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

18. Smile and laugh more.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others'.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Forgive every one for every thing.

26. What other people think of you is none of your business.

27. GOD heals everything.

28. However good or bad a situation is -- it will change.

29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Friends will. Stay in touch. . .

30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

32. The best is yet to come.

33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

34. Do the right thing !

35. Call your family often.

36. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

37. Each day give something good to others.

38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.

TAKE CARE...... LOVE YOURSELF.... ....

Balance Your Life

This is so true. But within the glass balls also, I feel family is most important.
When you die, your in tray will not be empty. In your last moments of life, if you get an opportunity to pause and reflect, you would definitely not regret spending some more time in office, or that you are not a couple of KGs slimmer. But you may wish that you had some more time to spend with your family.

Very often, in the rush and press of life, we often forget to pay attention to that which is the most important to us. We keep giving our time and according priority to issues that are, in the overall perspective, of lesser significance. This is because it is very rarely that we pause to think what is important to us, and what is merely pressing. We keep postponing spending time with our spouses and children, reading to them, playing with them, or going out on that vacation with them. We find reasons, pretexts and excuses for this - sometimes genuine, at other times merely out of force of habit. We take them for granted, and that is why we keep neglecting them.

But in the overall analysis, our endeavour should be to squeeze in as much of shared moments with the people who really matter to us in life. I, for one, will endeavour to do so.

Marine Corps Leadership Secrets Part III

In this third article in my series we will continue to take a look at how to apply United States Marine Corps leadership traits and principles to software development team leadership. ( this part I’ll be discussing the leadership traits of Justice, Enthusiasm, and Bearing.

Justice

A sense of justice. What does it mean to you? In the context of this discussion this means fair impartiality, of taking actions that are fair and just to all.

For example, to be just in your day-to-day work, this means that you don’t play favorites. If you always give the best assignments to the same person and the worst assignments to other people on the team, how to you think it would affect team morale? It’s easy to guess that those given the bad assignments would probably not think that highly of your leadership ability and it will impact their attitude and productivity.

Being just also means keeping your emotions and prejudices out of your decisions as much as possible. While this is often company policy when in comes to some groups, such as race or sex, just because a particular type of person isn’t on this protected list doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to treat them unjustly. You should treat all of your subordinates justly. If you don’t like someone on a personal level due to an annoying trait that grates your nerves at an emotional level, don’t take it out on them by assigning them all the grunt work or using them as a pawn for layoffs. Instead, work on getting to know them better or, if you can’t treat them justly, help them find a place within the company where you won’t be their supervisor.

In short, unjust treatment will harm team morale and undermine your leadership while just treatment for all will have the opposite effect.

Enthusiasm

This doesn’t mean that you have to be a rah-rah cheerleader. Software developers typically don’t like phony behavior and such insincere behavior isn’t what you’re looking for here. What you are looking for is showing an interest in the work your team is doing.

Let’s imagine a scenario where a developer on your team wants to show you a new algorithm they’ve developed. Sadly, many a team leader would blow off such a request in favor of other ‘more important’ meetings. This syndrome becomes worse at higher levels where the manager doesn’t have a good feel for the development tools being used and has a tighter schedule. How do you think the enthusiasm level of the developer who’s brushed aside will be afterward? That’s right, not so good. Do this enough and the whole team is in the dumps.

Maintain enthusiasm within your group by being a sincere cheerleader and coach for their efforts. If they’ve worked hard, acknowledge it and applaud their efforts. If they’re struggling, be a mentor and help them find a solution through positive methods.

Also work hard to avoid outside problems from dampening your team’s enthusiasm. While sometimes this is unavoidable, you can do your part by not complaining to them about the direction the company is taking. Try to keep things on a positive note as much as possible in these situations. Doing so enhances your leadership of the team and, at the very least, improves the morale of the team where mutual misery will only weaken it.

Bearing

Everybody knows the look of a squared away Marine in uniform. Movie characters like Jack Webb’s The D.I. or R. Lee Ermey’s Gunny Hartman in Full Metal Jacket or John Wayne in Sands of Iwo Jima have burned in this image. So, do you need to be all spit and polish, tough as nails, cussing and swearing to have bearing as a software development team leader? No, bearing is really deeper than physical appearance, it’s an attitude, a state of mind.

I don’t want to totally discount physical appearance though. If your company has a dress code, live up to it. Being slack in this area will only encourage yourself, and the rest of the team, to be slack in other areas. If you’re lucky and don’t have a formal dress code, consider casual dressing for success. You might be surprised how much a neat look improves your leadership.

But, beyond the physical, what is bearing? It is how you conduct yourself verbally and emotionally. If you rant and rave at your team, you’ve lost your bearing. If you cut down a team member, that’s loss of bearing. If you make a joke out of handing out work assignments, you’ve lost your bearing. If you engage in sarcasm, you will lose it as well. However, if you conduct yourself with dignity, show that you’re more interested in being understood than impressing others, and make yourself approachable, you will develop excellent bearing.

Marine Corps Leadership Secrets Part II

In this second article in my series I’ll continue my explanation of how to apply United States Marine Corps leadership traits and principles to software development team leadership. In this part I’ll be discussing the traits of Decisiveness, Dependability, Initiative, and Tact.

Decisiveness

Nobody likes to work for someone who leaves important decisions up for debate by the group or who simply leaves them up in the air, unmade. Nor do they like to work for someone who is inconsistent or wishy-washy. Managers who publicly vacillate over making key decisions usually lose the respect of those underneath them. However, people will respect a leader who can make a decision, tell everyone the decision in clear, confident, terms and then stick to it. They’re a person who says what they mean and means what they say.

This doesn’t mean that you should be inflexible about the decisions you make though. Situations change and, when they do, a leader is required to decisively act upon the new information. For example, a development tool a lead decided upon isn’t working right due to serious bugs that the vendor isn’t going to fix anytime soon. Instead of muddling on toward failure, the decisive leader takes steps to fix the problem quickly and save the project.

Being decisive also means be accountable for your decisions. If you make the call, you are responsible for it. Don’t pass the buck to your team members, peers or your management.

Dependability

Can your team depend on you? Can your management depend on you? Dependability works both ways.

To be dependable to your management is really basic Work 101 stuff. It means you show up on time, that you don’t make excuses or complain without a good reason, and stay on the job until it is completed. If you aren’t doing these things for your management, then why should you expect those you’re supposed to be leading to do the same for you?

How can you be dependable to your team? You do this by first of all being an example as I mentioned above. You are the role model they’ll look to, for good or for bad. However, it goes beyond just that. It means that you are willing to stand with them if there is an emergency that needs to be handled or if there is extra work needed to complete a project. If the team is coming into the office over the weekend to work you should be there too if at all possible. If there is a disaster, like a failed database, you are there working to correct the problem, even working through the night and into the next day if necessary. Your dependability will inspire those working for you while shirking your responsibility will, over time, demoralize your team.

Initiative

If you only do what you’re told to do and wait for others to take action, well, you aren’t much of a leader. Take a look around and see what needs to be done to either help you reach your goals or that’s keeping you from reaching them. For example, if someone on your team is having a problem with their PC, take the initiative and help them get it fixed. If there is a new tool that would greatly speed the development of your project, take the initiative and get it in for testing. Are there classes you and your team could take? Get them signed up.

Don’t be satisfied with the status quo. Learn to think outside the box and to solve problems in new ways.

Tact

Tact. It means a sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or to avoid offense. You may be surprised that this is on a Marine Corps leadership list after seeing movies or TV shows about boot camp. You see a lot of insults and screaming and yelling there. But, courtesy and respect plays an important role within the chain of command once a Marine leaves boot camp. Likewise, the courtesy you show to your team and to your management is important as well.

When you assign work, do it in a courteous, direct and personable manner. This helps insure the work will be understood and will be carried out correctly and with enthusiasm. If you give out assignments in a careless or brusque manner it might very well have the opposite effect.

Tact also applies to how your respect your team member’s time, property, and feelings. Wasting their time in useless meetings, not respecting their property, or hurting their feelings, intentionally or unintentionally, will hurt your authority within the team.

The simple management axiom is to praise in public and reprimand in private. This is one of the key ways to be tactful with your team. A public reprimand or even one that is private in name only can seriously damage your credibility within the team and harm morale. If you must reprimand, make sure that you are fair, firm and friendly about it.

With your managers, you should approach them in the manner that you would want to be approached if you were in their position.

Sail - don't drift

There is a world of a difference between a sailor and a drifter. A sailor is in control of the boat of his destiny. He has a destination or a goal in mind, and has a pretty good idea how to get there. A drifter, on the other hand, is - well, adrift. He knows not where is headed, and often, knows not the folly of this. A sailor has a map, a drifter prefers a nap. He is in a perpetual stupor, relishing his sleep while the going is good. But when the sea gets choppy and rough, he has no means of controlling his craft. It is then that he realizes that it is not always good to take the easy way out and let things drift along.