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Sunday 29 June 2008

Width of Railroad Tracks

{RAILROAD TRACKS ARE HOW WIDE APART?}

Does the statement, 'We've always done it like that' ring any bells?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would
break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a Specification/Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of the rear ends of two war horses... or two horses' asses.
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah . The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. And the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important?
Ancient horse's asses control almost everything....
and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else!! You need look no further than Washington to confirm this. (WHY go all over Washington to learn about the obvious? Just peep into the WHITE HOUSE!) Incidentally, when the present incumbent was first elected and left his home state Texas for the first stint, all Texans assembled to consider renaming their State. Thus Texas of the yellow rose fame was unanimously abbreviated to
'TEX' ( Havn't figured out why yet??????? Tch, Tch, Tut, Tut! 'Cause they had finally succeeded in packing off their prize AS(S) to Washington, nay the White House itself !!! ..........however I now really feel sorry for the good folk of TEX......their prize AS(S) will be back soon like the Lone Star he always was.......they've now got to schedule another huge assembly to do the obvious.....the TEX-an Lame Duck will be taking over as 'Hon. Librarian at large' in his Pop's 'Bush Library' at Texas A&M, College Station/Bryan......so they've no choice but revert to the Lone Star state's original name......It has to be a unanimous decision with all bonafide Tex(ans) physically present in one place, as per their 'Yellow Rose Constitution' when the US annexed the then Texas from Mexico!!! )
HISTORICAL TRANSITION in THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
'HORSES' ASSES THEN; ASSES' ASSES NOW!_'_._,_.___

Thursday 26 June 2008

Cheated

I took my non-empanelment in my stride, with the realization that despite apparently having an outwardly enviable service profile, there were probably occasions when I may not have measured up to the expectations of my superiors. Even on rejection of my complaint, and non-empanelment in the review, I continued to explain to myself that though not perfect, it is as good a system as is possible under the diverse constraints. I considered myself an integral part of the system. I stood firm in the belief that the system is benign, and though not found fit for promotion, it will find other ways to fulfil my aspirations.

However, on receipt of my posting order, I feel that I was under a misconception. I feel completely isolated and let down by all that I held in high regard. I now look forward to completing another 18 months and then hang up my uniform.