The Story of Four Wives

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Moral :

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

A. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

B. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

C. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

D. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament

Marine Corps Leadership Secrets Part IV

In this fourth article in my series on applying United States Marine Corps leadership traits and principles to software development team leadership we’ll be looking at the last 4 leadership traits: Endurance, Unselfishness, Loyality, and Judgement.

Endurance

Physical endurance plays a big part in the Marines but mental endurance is also important and that’s what we’ll concentrate on here. Endurance is defined as the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful activity. While you probably won’t be leading any 50 mile forced marches we’ve all heard software development projects referred to as ‘death marches’. Quite often a project can become a stressful mental exercise and, in some cases, a physical one as well as long hours are worked. Your ability to endure this misery will test your team leadership ability.

As a team leader the rest of the team will be looking to you to help get them over the hump on these tough projects. If you slack off, what do you think the rest of the team will do? They’ll follow your lead. If you decide that extra hours or even an all-nighter is needed, you’re the one toughing it out to get the job done, leading by example. I’ve known mid to upper level IT managers who’ve worked through the night and into the next day to fix a problem, helping when and where they could, and I’ve also known some who thought making it to the country club early on a Saturday was more important than being in the office for a weekend release. Can you guess which ones I respected as a leader more?

Unselfishness

It is a Marine tradition that in a chow line the lower ranking Marines are served first, then the squad leaders, then the staff non-commissioned officers. This is unselfish leadership in action. How can you show this kind of unselfish leadership in your role as a team lead?

An unselfish leader doesn’t grab all the perks for themselves. Sure, you’ll get some of these due to your position but you don’t need to flaunt them. One good example would be the computer system you’re using. If you have a top of the line system and the rest of your team is struggling by on poor performing systems, how do you think they’ll feel about that. As tough as it may be to you, make sure that your team is well supplied with the tools they need to do their job before you are. If you shortchange them, they’re likely to return the favor.

Another key area is in giving and taking credit for work. Nobody likes to work for a manager who takes personal credit for someone else’s achievements. You should always recognize the hard work and great ideas of your subordinates both to them and their peers and to your management as well. Not only does this behavior make them look good but it makes you look good as well.

Loyalty

The Marine Corps motto, Semper Fidelis, a Latin phrase meaning ‘Always Faithful’. This phrase embodies the loyalty Marines have to each other up and down the chain of command and even after they leave active duty in the Corps. Loyalty is a two way street and your words and actions should always reflect your loyalty both your team and to your managers. What are some ways you can show loyalty?

One is to back your team when they’re right and tell them they’re wrong when they’re wrong. A poor team lead will tell the team one thing and their management another and thus, show disloyalty to both. Sometimes it takes moral courage to be loyal in a situation. Have the courage to be loyal.

Another opportunity to show loyalty is when you pass on orders to your team, particularly ones that are distasteful. Don’t be disloyal by blaming the person above you for the situation. To do so only weakens your standing with the team. If you can’t change the situation, make the best of it. If it is something you can fight for, do so. Either way, it’s being loyal to your team and organization.

Never criticize your company leadership or your management peers in front of your team and discourage your team from doing the same. Nor should you allow gossip about personal lives be passed around. Stay loyal to your company and to your team by avoiding this trap.

Another way to show loyalty is to help out your team members if they’re having a problem, personal or professional. Hopefully your company isn’t a real world version of a reality show where you get points for throwing team members under the bus when they’re not up to par for some reason. Instead, help them out. By showing your loyalty this way they’ll have greater loyalty toward you, the team, and the company when the situation has past.

Judgement

Our last trait, Judgement, is all about applying the other leadership traits and your experiences to make the best decisions. You should avoid thinking rashly and, instead, think through a situation so that you can make a good decision.

Of course, there will be situations outside your experience. In the best cases, you will have someone else you can rely on to give you the benefit of their experience in your organization. This could even be someone who is technically junior to you within the organization but who has more experience there. If there isn’t anyone available to you, which is not the best of situations, you may have to rely on sources further removed or even a book or article. But, if you need help, seek help. This too is good judgement.

That covers our discussion of the leadership traits. Next in this series we’ll be looking at how to apply these traits. As always, feel free to leave a comment or question if you have one.

Sound Advice For Anyone Joining the Army

In units today, the senior subaltern is a lost instituion. Shortage of officers has resulted in a situation when there is hardly anytime when there are a sizeable number of young officers present. In such a scenario, there is a need to provice some substitute for grooming the new officers joining units.
The following extracts could form a good nucleus for material on the subject.

EXTRACTS FROM "A GOOD MAN IS A GOOD SOLDIER" FROM THE BOOK "FOLLOW ME II" BY MAJOR GENERAL AUBREY S. NEWMAN

There are some thoughts I would give any young man leaving to join the army-

- The first thing to get straight is that you are entering a profession. As in any other profession, good time Charlies and deadbeats travel a bumpy road.

-To go from high school to college is from one young society to another, it's a much greater transition to go from high school or college to the army. Suddenly you are in a man's word, dealing with serious responsibilities to others. Equally vital to understand, you no longer work alone [as in taking academic tests], but not must work in concert with others-which is much harder.

-A good businessman enjoys his work and it's the same way in the army. For poor businessman life is a burden and it's like that in the military profession too.

-Life in uniform is what you make it, just as it is on the outside.

-The armed services rest on a foundation of discipline-which is not the disagreeable thing many civilians visualize, nor is it hard to understand. Discipline is the willing obedience to all orders and, in the absence of orders, to what you think those orders would have been.

-Don’t be too quick to get chummy with new acquaintances; they maybe the wrong chums. If you run with the wrong crowd something happens inside your heart and to your attitude as a man and as a soldier-and that's a real misfortune.

-Reserve your ideas on how to reform the army until such time as you have won increased right by experience, increased rank, knowledge and understanding.

-Many things that seems senseless and useless to recruits have been proved by long experience to be the best way to serve the overall good. Young men new to the service should be slow to decide they know more overnight than all others said have preceded them. First learn to swim with the tide - there will be plenty of time to swim against the tide later.

-To say Sir demeans no man. It's a custom that helps military men at all levels bridge the rank gap-recognizing its existence while talking man to man.

-Similarly, saluting is a distinction reserved for military men-a friendly and professional greeting between soldiers in good standing.

-The more you know about anything, the more interesting it becomes. Don't wait to be force-fed information. Ask questions, study manuals and practice techniques with weapons and equipment. You will soon be an expert in many skills and fields if every day at every opportunity you seek to know.

-Develop the habit not only of being one time, but so regulating your days that you are on time without scrambling.

-Don’t have your feelings stuck out to be bruised, or they will be. When dealing with thousands of people, it's not possible to rub everybody's for the right way all the time when issuing orders. Just do what the man saves-and forget it.

-Observe those who have been in service for years: watch how they meet problems and perform their duties. Emulate things you admire in good soldiers, avoid errors made by bad ones.

-Just as "ignorance of orders is no excuse" in civilian life, it's the same way with military regulations and orders. Study those that affect you personally.

-Don’t drift, aim for advancement.

-The same things that make fine soldiers make successful civilians, including good character and good habits, sense of responsibility, getting along with others, good judgment and the continuing will to strive. Military service has an intangible something to offer any man-but you have to reach for it.

-The army has no quick and easy method to make a man out of a bum. An interesting comment on one case was made by a senior general in a reply to a soldier's father who had written a letter berating the army for not instilling discipline in his son. The general said, tactfully, it was hardly reasonable to expect the army to do in six months what the father had failed to accomplish in 18 years.

-The gripers are unhappy ones and they always distort facts. Look closely and you see they are really kicking themselves, trying to alibi their own failures and weaknesses.

-The measure of a man and a soldier is the ability to take it when the going is rough. To "blow your top" does not make you a tough cookie; it's just lack of self-control. Any dope can lose his temper.

-All successful men need human understanding-the ability to understand people and what makes them do what they do. Military service offers an unparalleled opportunity to cultivate this quantity and to learn to get along with others, as important in civilian life as in the army.